The Role of Essential Oils in Easing Grief

Nature’s Fragrant Pathways to Comfort and Solace

Grief, a profound and often overwhelming response to loss, touches the emotional, mental, and even physical dimensions of our being. When words fail and the world seems colorless, many people look to gentle, holistic practices for support. Among these, essential oils—distillations of nature’s most aromatic plants—have emerged as a comforting companion on the journey through sorrow. But how do essential oils help with grief, and what is the science and tradition behind their powerful, though subtle, effects?

Understanding Grief: More Than Sadness

Grief is a deeply personal process. It can arise following the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a pet, a home due to fire or other disaster or even an important life chapter. Grief’s manifestations are diverse: sadness, anger, numbness, insomnia, anxiety, or even physical pain. No two experiences of sorrow are identical; likewise, the pathways to healing are as varied as the people who seek them.

Traditional remedies for grief include time, talk therapy, support groups, and creative expression. Yet, as more individuals explore holistic wellness, essential oils have gained popularity for their soothing properties and ability to gently support emotional healing.

The Science Behind Essential Oils

Essential oils are concentrated extracts from flowers, leaves, bark, and other plant parts. When inhaled or applied to the skin (usually diluted in a carrier oil), their chemical constituents interact with the body in ways that may influence mood and wellbeing.

The key to understanding how essential oils affect grief lies in the olfactory system—the body’s sense of smell. When aromatic molecules are inhaled, they travel through the nose to the olfactory bulb, which is intimately connected to the limbic system. The limbic system is sometimes called the “emotional brain,” responsible for regulating mood, memory, and stress responses. This neurological pathway explains why certain scents can evoke vivid memories or emotions and why aromatherapy may be a gentle tool for emotional healing.

Research into essential oils and mood suggests that some oils have anxiolytic (anxiety-reducing), sedative, or uplifting effects, though more studies are needed to fully understand the mechanisms. The placebo effect, too, can play a role—if one believes in the healing power of a particular scent, the mind and body may respond with genuine relief.

Essential Oils Commonly Used for Grief

While every person’s experience is unique, several essential oils are traditionally associated with emotional comfort and support during times of loss. Here are a few commonly used options:

• Rose Rosa x damascene: The scent of rose is deeply connected to the heart, offering comfort in grief, especially when loss feels raw and overwhelming. Eases shock, grief and depression. Brings a feeling of love to soothe the heart while healing.

• Cypress Cupressus sempervirens: Traditionally used in rituals of mourning, cypress oil is associated with transitions, acceptance, and letting go. Soothes feeling overwhelmed.

• Mandarin, Green Citrus nobilis: Helps calm your mind from the turbulent emotions that come with loss, soothing to the emotions and allows for expressing suppressed feelings of loss and sadness.

• Sandalwood Santalum spicatum:This grounding scent is valued for its ability to promote emotional balance and support meditation or prayer. Provides protection energetically.

• Frankincense Boswellia carterii: Used in spiritual practices for centuries, frankincense can help deepen breathing, encourage reflection, and soothe anxiety.

• Lemon Citrus limon: Is uplifting and cleansing, reduces tension and depression.

• Lavender Lavandula angustifolia: Known for its calming, relaxing qualities, lavender is often used to reduce anxiety, promote sleep, and relieve emotional stress.

• Bergamot Citrus bergamia: Uplift for th emotions while aslo calming them. Dispels feelings of hopelessness or sadness

  
  

Practical Ways to Use Essential Oils for Grief

The beauty of essential oils lies in their versatility. Those navigating grief may find comfort in incorporating oils in the following ways:

• Diffusion: Adding a few drops of essential oil to a diffuser can gently fragrance the air, creating a calming or uplifting atmosphere in the home.

• Inhalation: For a quick emotional reset, simply inhale the scent of an oil directly from the bottle or from a handkerchief.

• Baths: Adding several drops of oil (diluted in a carrier, like milk or a neutral oil) to a warm bath can provide deep relaxation and encourage release of emotional tension.

• Massage: A blend of essential oils and carrier oil, massaged into the skin, can soothe both body and mind—particularly helpful when grief manifests physically as muscle tension or aches.

• Personal Inhalers or Roll-Ons: Carrying a small, portable inhaler or roller bottle allows individuals to access soothing scents throughout the day, providing comfort in moments of overwhelm.

• Mindful Rituals: Integrating essential oils into meditation, journaling, or remembrance rituals can help anchor one in the present and foster connection with lost loved ones.

  
  

Blending Essential Oils for Grief Support

Creating custom blends is a way to personalize the healing journey. My favorite combination for supporting the heart, mind and body when dealing with grief, loss, broken heart and difficult times are Rose, Cypress, Mandarin (Green), and Sandalwood.

1 drop of Rose Absolute

2 drops Cypress

2 Drops Mandarin (Green)

1 drops Sandalwood

1 ounce of carrier oil

1 ounce dropper bottle

Add the essential oils to a one-ounce dropper bottle then fill with the carrier oil of your choice. I always suggest using a 1% dilution rate (which the above formula is) and applying it over the heart area, this is the physical area where the ‘heartbreak’ is happening. You can also apply to pulse points.

There are so many options, you can choose essential oils from the above list that speak to your needs.

Emotional Healing Beyond Scent

It’s important to view essential oils as one tool among many in navigating grief. They are not a cure or replacement for faith based support, counseling or medical support, but rather a gentle adjunct to established healing practices. For many, the act of choosing, blending, and using essential oils becomes a mindfulness practice, inviting moments of self-care and presence even in the midst of sorrow.

Some people find that certain scents evoke cherished memories, helping them reconnect with their lost loved ones. Others use aroma as a way to mark transitions, such as lighting a candle with a favorite scent on anniversaries or milestone days.

Precautions and Considerations

While essential oils are generally safe when used properly, it’s crucial to observe a few guidelines:

• Always dilute essential oils before applying them to the skin. Before using an essential oil extensively, perform a patch test to check for allergic reactions or sensitivities. Apply a small amount of diluted oil to your inner forearm and wait 24 hours before proceeding.

• Some oils may not be suitable for use around pets, children, or during pregnancy—research or consult a qualified aromatherapist if unsure.

• Seek professional guidance if you have underlying health conditions or take medications that may interact with essential oils.

• If grief becomes overwhelming, persistent, or leads to thoughts of self-harm, seek help from a healthcare professional or counselor. Essential oils are no substitute for comprehensive emotional care.

  
  

Conclusion: Healing Is a Journey

Grief is a landscape with no map, filled with peaks and valleys, sudden storms and moments of peace. While the ache of loss may never fully disappear, gentle rituals—such as the mindful use of essential oils—can offer comfort, connection, and a reminder of the beauty that remains in the world. Whether through lavender’s calming embrace, rose’s loving heart, or frankincense’s grounding presence, nature’s fragrances can help light the way through darkness, one breath at a time.

In the words of the poet Rumi, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” For those who grieve, essential oils may serve as a small lantern of hope—illuminating the path to healing, remembrance, and renewal.